Apology changed my life.
I believe it can change yours as well. Whether you have a difficult time
apologizing to others when you have wronged them, difficulty receiving or
accepting the apologies others have given you, or difficulty asking for the
apologies that you feel are owed you, The Power of Apology will help you understand the obstacles that stand in your way and
will offer you strategies to help work past them. It will also help you if you
tend to overapologize or if you apologize automatically or too often, even if
you haven't done anything wrong. Whether by force of habit, as a way to avoid
conflicts, or as a symptom of low self-esteem, overapologizing can be just as
troublesome as not apologizing often enough. It can affect how others perceive
you, your image of yourself, and your status in a relationship or in your
career.
The Power of Apology:-
is about bringing families and friends back
together when they have been estranged, as well as bringing couples and
families closer together on a daily basis. It is about teaching our children to
take responsibility for their actions and to have empathy and compassion for
others. Ultimately, it is about saving your soul and the souls of those you
love.
Apology has the power to
heal individuals, couples, and families. Almost like magic, apology can mendour relationships, soothe our wounds and hurt pride, and heal our broken heart.
When
we apologize to someone we have hurt, disappointed, neglected, or betrayed, we
give them a wonderful gift that is far more healing than almost anything else
we can give. By apologizing we let the other person know that we regret having
hurt him or her. Just as important, we let this person know we respect him and
we care about his feelings. It becomes one of the most effective tools for
mending a relationship.
Apology is not just something we do to be polite. It is an important socialritual, a way of showing respect and empathy for the wronged person. It is also
a way of acknowledging an act that can't go unnoticed without compromising the
relationship. Apology has the ability to disarm the anger of others, to prevent
further misunderstandings, and to bridge the distances between people.
But
apology has more than the power to soothe wounds or mend relationships. In some
instances, it even has the ability to rehabilitate an individual, resolve
conflicts, and restore social harmony. While an apology cannot truly undo harmful
effects of past actions, paradoxically, if done sincerely and effectively, this
is in fact what apology manages to do. When an apology is received as the gift
that it is and reciprocated by the gift of forgiveness, it is nothing short of
a miracle.
Apology is also an important factor in creating and maintaining healthy
relationships. When we apologize to those we've hurt, slighted, disappointed,
betrayed, or angered, the caring and respect we convey through our apology
fosters love and trust.
When
someone does something that hurts our feelings but does not apologize for it,
we become resentful of that person. This resentment can take the form of our
distancing ourselves from her, expressing our anger in numerous direct or
indirect ways, or feeling less motivated to be considerate or caring toward
her.
When
your own behavior is offensive, inconsiderate, or hurtful, the recipient of
your behavior grows wary of you. Whether he realizes it consciously, he feels
he must be on guard. He no longer feels as relaxed around you and may even feel
that he can no longer trust you. If an apology is not forthcoming, this
wariness and distrust will grow. It's one thing to hurt another person, but
it's another thing entirely to either not be aware that you have hurt him or to
not care. If this occurs at the beginning of a relationship, it may influence
whether the relationship continues. If the relationship is already an
established one, it may add to a growing sense of alienation and resentment.
Apologizing to another person is
one of the healthiest, most positive actions we can ever takefor ourselves, the other person, and the relationship. Apology is
crucial to
our mental and physical
health and well-being. Research shows that receiving an apology has an obvious
and positive effect on the body.
The
act of apology is not only beneficial to the person receiving it but to the one
giving it as well. The debilitating effects of the remorse and shame we can
feel when we've hurt another person can eat away at us until we become
emotionally and physically ill. By apologizing and taking responsibility for
our actions, we help rid ourselves of esteem-robbing shame and guilt.
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