Here are seven
simple tips that will help you to attract new friends:
1.
Focus on the good in people.
None of us is
perfect. We all have traits that make us difficult to live with. It’s easy to
focus on what is difficult. Instead, look for what is good and strong. If you
do catch yourself focusing on negative aspects, remind yourself that you too
have faults.
2.
Smile.
If you look at
ancient Buddha figures, they usually show a serene smile. It’s a kind of visual
teaching, because when we smile, we become mindful and step out of ourpreoccupation. No matter how you connect with others, remember to smile.
Whether you’re connecting face-to-face, or via Twitter, email, chat, Skype, or
phone, your inner and outer smile will be felt by the person you are
connecting with.
3.
Let go of grudges.
Do you stew over how
others have treated you? It can be difficult to release yourself from negative
thoughts about how someone harmed you or made you unhappy. Such negative
thoughts are corrosive and will harden your heart. So let them go and focus on
the beauty of the present moment instead.
4.
Be a positive mirror for others.
I you want to be a
friend to someone, make sure you let them know all the wonderful things you can
see in them. There is a lovely poem by Galway Kinnell that talks about this:
…
sometimes it is necessary
to
reteach a thing its loveliness,
to
put a hand on its brow
of
the flower
and
retell it in words and in touch
it
is lovely
until
it flowers again from within, of self-blessing.
This poem shows us
what it is to be a good friend. We need to reteach our friends their
loveliness, in words and in touch.
5.
Be helpful.
The key to creatinglasting friendships is to think about what you can do for friends. They key
question is: what do they need? For example, a friend of mine recently lost her
father. At a time like that, help is important. So I’ve been cooking meals for
her, just to make things easier and to let her know that I care.
6.
Be kind.
My aspiration inlife is this: kindness is never out of place. Mind
you, I don’t always manage to live up to it. But that’s the nature ofaspirations—they are the stars by which we navigate our lives. Though they
light up our path, we can never reach them.
7.
Be grateful.
It’s easy to take
friends for granted. But if you want to strengthen your friendships, do the
opposite. Think of your friends with gratitude. And then express your gratitude
to them in words and deeds. Everyone loves being valued.
