1.
Take a breath, step back and PAUSE. Vowing to write them off in the heat of
2.
The thoughts in your head feeding your fear and insecurity only help to keep
you stuck, confused at not at all empowered. Ruminating and playing the tapes
of the circumstance over and over will certainly lead to more frustration - do
something; see a movie, go for a run, do a long yoga practice - turn off your
head for while to clear space for rational thinking.
3.
When I am wounded, lost or feel neglected, I turn now to those men and women
who love, support and nourish my soul - they remind me I’m OK; surround
yourself with people who fill you up and can be a objective and grounding.
4.
Big egos and big voices can be impressionable, but the one with the strongest
character will come away the better person. The issue may be too deep to just
glaze over, but if you act with graciousness, humility and objectivity, you can
remain pleasant and generous no matter the outcome.
5.
If for whatever reason after much dialogue your friend is still not moving past
the incident, embrace where they are with the situation, let them know you
accept this, will adjust and adapt, and that they are valuable to you on
whatever terms. Often hurt can take others longer to heal - respect that and be
with them at any level.
6.
As trying as it can be, when you choose authentic, truthful and unconditional
love for the other person and bring your heart to the situation, this hard time
will strengthen you beyond anything you could imagine. Regardless of the weight
you bear, come to the relationship with only wanting clear, clean
communication.
7.
Communal negativity is dangerous and will suck you into a empty hole of doubt
and insecurity; if you share the situation with someone else and they opt to
speak unkindly of your friend, you have just become a conduit to fear - stop
the negative interaction and choose to keep the matter to yourself.
8.
As the popular character from Seinfeld,
George Costanza would say “Do the opposite.” Release your wounded feelings and
go out into the world and speak graciously and kindly about your friend. Each
moment you start to replay the those ego tapes in your head, call, email or
text someone something really positive about this friend - you will feel lifted
immediately for doing so.
9.
This one is short and sweet; apologize with sincerity, ask for their
forgiveness and accept the response, Respect the decision, do not regret.
10.
Own your participation in this mishap; acknowledge whatever part you may have
played (yes, even when we are the ones that have been hurt or wronged, we
brought something to the situation that led us to the matter) and openly,
without judgement speak to that place in your friends heart where they
intrinsically love you and your words will be received authentically and with
clarity.
My
dear friend and I have had many a challenging situation, cross words and
emotions flying due to impatience, insecurity. Whatever it may be at that time
in our long relationship, I can tell you that I would do anything for her and I
know her for me and that is worth holding onto, and worth any amount of lessons
I might learn in my own growing as HER friend. Be engaged and proactive in
resolving broken relationships, strive to have respect and maturity of heart to
come to the situation realistically and with the intent to heal and bloom that
friendship once again.
