Loneliness deal Important tips!

Have you ever been lonely in a crowd? Have you ever been perfectly content all alone? Me too. And I have also suffered from loneliness:-

Loneliness is a complex mental and emotional phenomenon that has at its base a powerful emotion that has survival value for children. All of us have experienced some degree of abandonment, if only for a short time, and remember the painful and scary feeling that goes along with it.

Whenever we are reminded of this feeling or anticipate it in the future, we get a twinge of abandonment distress that we experience as loneliness. This can happen among a crowd of friends or even after making love. It can be pretty confusing and can put you off your game if you don’t know what’s going on.

Here are some tipsfor recognizing loneliness for what it is and dealing with it in the healthiest ways.

1. Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact:- 
 When you are feeling lonely, it is because something has triggered a memory of that feeling, not because you are in fact, isolated and alone. The brain is designed to pay attention to pain and danger, and that includes painful scary feelings; therefore loneliness gets our attention.

But then the brain tries to make sense of the feeling. Why am I feeling this way? Is it because nobody loves me? Because I am a loser? Because they are all mean? Theories about why you are feeling lonely can become confused with facts. Then it becomes a bigger problem so just realize that you are having this feeling and accept it without over reacting.

2. Reach out because loneliness is painful and can confuse you into thinking that you are a loser, an outcast:-
You might react by withdrawing into yourself, your thoughts, and your lonely feelings and this is not helpful. At its best, anticipation of loneliness might motivate us to reach out and cultivate friendships, which is the healthiest thing to do if you are sad and alone. When you are a child, and your sadness causes you to cry, you may evoke a comforting response from others.

3. Notice your self deflating thoughts:- 
We often create self centered stories to explain our feelings when we are young, it is not unusual for children to assume that there is something wrong with them if they are not happy. If they are lonely and sad, children may assume other people don’t like them when this is rarely the case.

Victims of bullying may well have fans and friends, but they often aren’t aware of it because the shame and loneliness get more attention. Habitual assumptions about social status continue into adulthood and if you are looking for evidence that the world sucks, you can always find it.

4. Make a plan to fight the mental and emotional habits of loneliness:- 
If you realize you are dealing with an emotional habit, you can make a plan to deal with loneliness. Since healthy interaction with friends is good, make some effort to reach out to others, to initiate conversation and face time even when your loneliness and depression are telling you not to. Yes, it is work, but it is worthwhile, just like exercising is worthwhile even when you are feeling tired or lazy.

5. Focus on the needs and feelings of others, the less attention on your lonely thoughts and feelings:-
I can walk down the street thinking about myself, my loneliness and the hopelessness of it all, staring at the sidewalk and sighing to myself. Or I can walk down the street grateful for the diversity of people I get to share the sidewalk with, silently wishing them good health and good fortune, and smiling at each person I meet. The latter is more fun, even though I sometimes have to remind myself to do it on purpose.

6. Find others like you:- 
Now days there are more tools than ever before to find out where the knitters, hikers or kite boarders are congregating so that you can get together with those who share your interests. This makes it much easier to identify groups with which you will have something in common, a natural basis for beginning a friendship.

7. Always show up when meeting up with others:- 
 You don’t have to run for president of the knitters society at your first meeting. But you do have to show up. I have been telling others to practiceyoga for 20 years and promising I would do it myself for just as long, but except for the occasional coincidental yoga offering at a retreat, I didn’t take the trouble of finding a class I could attend regularly until a month ago. Now I am enjoying it and it wasn’t that hard. I have put a reminder in my phone to resign from the procrastinator’s society.

8. Be curious, but don’t expect perfection or applause:- 
Each time you show up is an experiment, a micro adventure in social bonding. If you are curious about and interested in others, they will be attracted to you because you are giving them attention. So you will get attention in return. Curiosity about others also takes your focus away from those painful feelings that tend to make you hide and sulk.

9. Kindness goes a long way:-
You have the power to offer loving kindness and generosity of spirit to all you come into contact with. It isn’t instinctual to be kind to strangers or people who scare you.

10. Be persistent even if a particular group does seem to be a dead end for you, try another:- 
If you are persistent, challenging the assumptions and feelings that tell you to give up and resign yourself to a life of loneliness, and showing up and being curiousand kind to others and more and more groups, the odds are in your favor.

More from Your Tango: Why You Should Never Stop Looking For Love

And once you have a friend or two, nourish those friendships with time and attention. Don’t be too cautious about whether you are giving more than you are getting at first. If you make more friends and some of them are takers, you can choose to spend more time with the friends who reward your friendship.

Tenni Ball Stretch help release Tension!

Tennis Ball Stretch!

Working hard for you every day, your feet are the foundation for good posture and keeping your entire body in balance. The foot is an extremely complex structure made up of 26 bones, 33 joints, 19 muscles and 107 ligaments.

Unfortunately, many people neglect their feet. As a result, your feet can become tight from walking, running, exercising and even playing golf. In addition to staying hydrated, one of the best things you can do to support the health of your feet and your body is give your footsies a regular rub down using a tennis ball. This will greatly help your posture, reduce tension, support relaxation, improve circulation, and can even help prevent injuries.

The best part is that a tennis ball is inexpensive, easy to find, convenient to carry walking 18 holes. It’s also a great way to start your morning, take a break between school and golf practice, or relax before bed.

and can help you release a lot of tension in minimal time. This stretching exercise feels especially good after standing for long periods of time or

How To Stretch Your Feet: Do Some “Sole Searching”

1:-Take off your shoes

2:-Stand on 1 foot and place the tennis ball under your other foot

3:-Slowly put your weight down on the ball and gently roll the ball front to back and side to side

4:-When you find a tender spot apply steady pressure for 30 seconds and breath

5:-Navigate your foot trying to search and destroy those nasty knots until the pain dissipates

6:-When ready, switch to the other foot and repeat

You can also use your tennis ball to explore your body for other tight and painful areas.

Try using it on your neck, chest, thighs, calves, or anywhere that tension builds up in your body. Best of all, throw your tennis ball into your backpack or golf bag and you’ll have your own masseuse on-the-go.

 You can also use a lacrosse ball or golf ball to do this, but those will be much more painful.

Anxiety Reduce Yoga Excercise!

Everyone suffers from mild anxiety from time to time, but chronic anxiety takes a tremendous toll on the body, draining energy resources and keeping the body in a constant state of stress. The effects of anxiety are magnified when the body is not exercised  tension in the muscles builds, breathing remains constricted most of the time, and the mind has no rest from the whirling thoughts and feelings that feed the anxiety.

Yoga helps you to access an inner strength that allows you to face the sometimes-overwhelming fears, frustrations, and challenges of everyday life. The American Yoga Association program to reduce stress in the body, breath, and mind does so by building coping skills with a small daily routine of exercise, breathing, and meditation. A few Yoga exercises practiced daily (especially if they are done just prior to meditation) help to regulate the breath and relax the body by gently releasing tension from the large muscle groups, flushing all parts of the body and brain with fresh blood, oxygen, and other nutrients, and increasing feelings of well-being. "Whole body" exercises such as the Sun Poses are particularly helpful because they encourage you to breathe deeply and rhythmically. Many exercises can be adapted so you can do them even in an office chair. Our Basic Yoga video provides a complete introduction to these exercises and contains a 30-minute exercise routine with breathing, relaxation and meditation.

The Complete Breath technique is a must for anyone who often feels "stressed out." Once learned, the Complete Breath can be used anywhere, anytime, to reduce the severity of a panic attack, to calm the mind, or to cope with a difficult situation. Learning to concentrate simply on the sound of the breath as you inhale and exhale evenly and smoothly will help you gently but effectively switch your attention from feelings of anxiety to feelings of relaxation.

Daily practice of complete relaxation and meditation is also essential - even a few minutes of meditation during your work day can make a difference. This daily training in focusing the mind on stillness will teach you how to consciously quiet your mind whenever you feel overwhelmed. Meditation puts you in touch with your inner resources; this means less dependence on medications, greater self-awareness, and a fuller, happier life.

Breathing Exercises to Relax Mind and body Soul!

 Overworked, underslept and feeling the pressure? There are plenty of ways to find calm, without investing in a four-hand spa massage. All you need is a pair of lungs, your breath and 10 minutes or less.  

Don’t wait until fight or flight kicks in before minding your breath. Controlled breathing not only keeps the mind and body functioning at their best, it can also lower blood pressure, promote feelings of calm and relaxation and help us de-stress.

While the effects of breathing techniques on anxiety haven’t yet been studied at length (at least not in a controlled clinical setting), many experts encourage using the breath as a means of increasing awareness, mindfulness or, for the yogis among us, finding that elusive state of Zen. To get to the bottom of the breath work, Greatist spoke to breathing expert Dr. Alison McConnell, yoga instructor Rebecca Pacheco and psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer. But follow closely: breathing easy isn’t quite as easy as it sounds.

From the confines of a bed, a desk or anyplace where negativity finds its way, consider these six breathing techniques to help keep calm and carry on.

1.Equal Breathing:-

How it’s done: Balance can do a body good, beginning with the breath. To start, inhale for a count of four, then exhale for a count of four — all through the nose, which adds a natural resistance to the breath. Got the basic pranayama down? More advanced yogis can aim for six to eight counts per breath with the same goal in mind: calm the nervous system, increase focus and reduce stress, Pacheco says.

When it works best: Anytime, anyplace — but this is one technique that’s especially effective before bed. “Similar tocounting sheep,” Pacheco says, “if you’re having trouble falling asleep, this breath can help take your mind off the racing thoughts, or whatever might be distracting you from sleep.”

Level of difficulty: Beginner

2. Abdominal Breathing Technique

How it’s done: With one hand on the chest and the other on the belly, take a deep breath in through the nose, ensuring the diaphragm (not the chest) inflates with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs. The goal: Six to 10 deep, slow breaths per minute for 10 minutes each day to experience immediate reductions to heart rate and blood pressure, McConnell says. Keep at it for six to eight weeks, and those benefits might stick around even longer.

When it works best: Before an exam, or any stressful event. But keep in mind, “Those who operate in a stressed state all the time might be a little shocked how hard it is to control the breath,” Pacheco says. To help train the breath, consider biofeedback tools such as McConnell’s Breathe Strong app, which can help users pace their breathing wherever they are.

Level of difficulty: Beginner

3.Alternate Nostril Breathing:-

How it’s done: A yogi’s best friend, this breath is said to bring calm and balance, and unite the right and left sides of the brain. Starting in a comfortable meditative pose, hold the right thumb over the right nostril and inhale deeply through the left nostril. At the peak of inhalation, close off the left nostril with the ring finger, then exhale through the right nostril. Continue the pattern, inhaling through the right nostril, closing it off with the right thumb and exhaling through the left nostril.

When it works best: Crunch time, or whenever it’s time to focus or energize. Just don’t try this one before bed: Nadi shodhana is said to “clear the channels” and make people feel more awake. “It’s almost like a cup of coffee,” Pacheco says.

Level of difficulty: Intermediate

4.Skull Shining Breath:-

How it’s done: Ready to brighten up your day from the inside out? This one begins with a long, slow inhale, followed by a quick, powerful exhale generated from the lower belly. Once comfortable with the contraction, up the pace to one inhale-exhale (all through the nose) every one to two seconds, for a total of 10 breaths.

When it works best: When it’s time to wake up, warm up or start looking on the brighter side of things. “It’s pretty abdominal-intensive,” Pacheco says, “but it will warm up the body, shake off stale energy and wake up the brain.” If alternate nostril breathing is like coffee, consider this a shot of espresso, she says.

Level of difficulty: Advanced

5. Progressive Relaxation

How it’s done: To nix tension from head to toe, close the eyes and focus on tensing and relaxingeach muscle group for two to three seconds each. Start with the feet and toes, then move up to the knees, thighs, rear, chest, arms, hands, neck, jaw and eyes — all while maintaining deep, slow breaths. Having trouble staying on track? Anxiety and panic specialist Dr. Patricia Farrell suggests we breathe in through the nose, hold for a count of five while themuscles tense, then breathe out through the mouth on release.

When it works best: At home, at a desk or even on the road. One word of caution: Dizziness is never the goal. If holding the breath ever feels uncomfortable, tone it down to just a few seconds at most.

Level of difficulty: Beginner

6. Guided Visualization:-

How it’s done: Head straight for that “happy place,” no questions asked. With a coach, therapist or helpful recording as your guide, breathe deeply while focusing on pleasant, positive images to replace any negative thoughts. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer explains that while it’s just one means of achieving mindfulness, “Guidedvisualization helps puts you in the place you want to be, rather than letting your mind go to the internal dialogue that is stressful.”

Reduce Anxiety and Manage Stress!

Everyone suffers from mild anxiety from time to time, but chronic anxiety takes a tremendous toll on the body, draining energy resources and keeping the body in a constant state of stress. The effects of anxiety are magnified when the body is not exercised: tension in the muscles builds, breathing remains constricted most of the time, and the mind has no rest from the whirling thoughts and feelings that feed the anxiety.

Yoga helps you to access an inner strength that allows you to face the sometimes-overwhelming fears, frustrations, and challenges of everyday life.
A few Yoga exercises practiced daily (especially if they are done just prior to meditation) help to regulate the breath and relax the body by gently releasing tension from the large muscle groups, flushing all parts of the body and brain with fresh blood, oxygen, and other nutrients, and increasing feelings of well-being. "Whole body" exercises such as the Sun Poses are particularly helpful because they encourage you to breathe deeply and rhythmically.

The Complete Breath technique is a must for anyone who often feels "stressed out." Once learned, the Complete Breath can be used anywhere, anytime, to reduce the severity of a panic attack, to calm the mind, or to cope with a difficult situation. Learning to concentrate simply on the sound of the breath as you inhale and exhale evenly and smoothly will help you gently but effectively switch your attention from feelings of anxiety to feelings of relaxation.

Daily practice of complete relaxation and meditation is also essential - even a few minutes of meditation during your work day can make a difference. This daily training in focusing the mind on stillness will teach you how to consciously quiet your mind whenever you feel overwhelmed. Meditation puts you in touch with your inner resources; this means less dependence on medications, greaterself-awareness, and a fuller, happier life.

For Keeping Peace in an Out of Control World!

In an age of endless technology and societal demands, I am acutely aware of the ever constant pressures of living in an out of control world. What used to come naturally to me now requires a conscious effort to remain peaceful and calm.

Here are ten tips that you can practice in order to maintain your sense of serenity in a chaotic environment:

1:-Remain emotionally detached from the drama and chaos. Someone coined the phrase, "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." This holds true for drama as well. Make a commitment to never initiate or engage in it.

2:-Remove yourself from the discord whenever possible. You have free will and Divine rights. If something is not benefiting you, you have every right to walk away from it.

3:-Put everything into perspective. Some humans have a sad habit of making a mountain out of a molehill. Is this situation really so serious that drama is a natural component? A life-threatening injury or natural disaster perhaps; everything else not so much.

4:-Set boundaries and limits with drama queens. You are not required to be subjected to the havoc they generate.

5:- Practicemindfulness - live in and enjoy the moment. Let go of the past - it's yesterday's news; do not worry about the future - it never arrives. Remain focused on where you are now and what you are thinking, feeling, and doing. Concern yourself only with the now.

6:-Let go of whatever you cannot control. If it is not within you have no power over it. "Let go and let God" is a wonderfully calming mantra to behold

7:-Think before responding. Not every situation requires a response. But if in fact you choose to reply give careful consideration to your choice of words and actions making sure they are calming responses rather than inflammatory.

8:-Have faith and trust in Godremembering that all is as it is meant to be. Many stressful experiences have a higher purpose. Know that your Heavenly Father will be the Light in your darkness, He will calm the internal storm, and make right everything in your life - in His time, not necessarily ours.

9:- It is not the experience that we need to concern ourselves with but rather what it is here to teach us and how we are meant to use it for our own good and the good of humanity. We often put too much emphasis on the event rather than on Divine Purpose.

10:-Commit to peace. Make it your way of life. Never allow anyone to distract you or interfere with your right to live in Divine harmony with the world.

Everything is subjective. I can choose to involve myself in the chaos of the world and allow myself to become infected by all of the drama. Or I can accept my Divine birthright and live harmoniously even in an out of control world. For me, nothing matters more than peace.

Emotion Affect Your Health!

Mind/Body Connection: How Your Emotions Affect Your Health

What is good emotional health?

People who have good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life. They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships.

However, many things that happen in your life can disrupt your emotional health and lead to strong feelings of sadness, stress or anxiety. These things include:

1:-Being laid off from your job

2:-Having a child leave or return home

3:-Dealing with the death of a loved one

4:-Getting divorced or married

5:-Suffering an illness or an injury

6:-Getting a job promotion

7:-Experiencing money problems

8:-Moving to a new home

9:-Having a baby

“Good” changes can be just as stressful as “bad” changes.

How can my emotions affect my health?

Your body responds to the way you think, feel and act. This is often called the “mind/body connection.” When you are stressed, anxious or upset, your body tries to tell you that something isn’t right. For example, high blood pressure or a stomach ulcer might develop after a particularly stressful event, such as the death of a loved one. The following can be physical signs that your emotional health is out of balance:

1:-Back pain

2:-Change in appetite

3:-Chest pain

4:-Constipation or diarrhea

5:-Dry mouth

6:-Extreme tiredness

7:-General aches and pains

8:-Headaches

9:-High blood pressure

10:-Insomnia (trouble sleeping)

11:-Lightheadedness

12:-Palpitations (the feeling that your heart is racing)

13:-Sexual problems

14:-Shortness of breath

15:-Stiff neck

16:-Sweating

17:-Upset stomach

18:-Weight gain or loss

Pooremotional health can weaken your body's immune system, making you more likely to get colds and other infections during emotionally difficult times. Also, when you are feeling stressed, anxious or upset, you may not take care of your health as well as you should. You may not feel like exercising, eating nutritious foods or taking medicine that your doctor prescribes. Abuse of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs may also be a sign of poor emotional health.

Why does my doctor need to know about my emotions?

You may not be used to talking to your doctor about your feelings or problems in your personal life. But remember, he or she can’t always tell that you’re feeling stressed, anxious or upset just by looking at you. It’s important to be honest with your doctor if you are having these feelings.

First, he or she will need to make sure that other health problems aren’t causing your physical symptoms. If your symptoms aren’t caused by other health problems, you and your doctor can address the emotional causes of your symptoms. Your doctor may suggest ways to treat your physical symptoms while you work together to improve your emotional health.

If your negative feelings don’t go away and are so strong that they keep you from enjoying life, it’s especially important for you to talk to your doctor. You may have what doctors call “major depression.” Depression is a medical illness that can be treated with individualized counseling,

medicine or with both.

How can I improve my emotional health?

First, try to recognize your emotions and understand why you are having them. Sorting out the causes of sadness, stress and anxiety in your life can help you manage your emotional health. The following are some other helpful tips.

Express your feelings in appropriate ways. If feelings of stress, sadness or anxiety are causing physical problems, keeping these feelings inside can make you feel worse. It’s OK to let your loved ones know when something is bothering you. However, keep in mind that your family and friends may not be able to help you deal with your feelings appropriately. At these times, ask someone outside the situation--such as your family doctor, a counselor or a religious advisor--for advice and support to help you improve your emotional health.

Live a balanced life. Try not to obsess about the problems at work, school or home that lead to negative feelings. This doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be happy when you feel stressed, anxious or upset. It’s important to deal with these negative feelings, but try to focus on the positive things in your life too. You may want to use a journal to keep track of things that make you feel happy or peaceful. Some research has shown that having a positive outlook can improve your quality of life and give your health a boost. You may also need to find ways to let go of some things in your life that make you feel stressed and overwhelmed. Make time for things you enjoy.

Develop resilience. People with resilience are able to cope with stress in a healthy way. Resilience can be learned and strengthened with different strategies. These include having social support, keeping a positive view of yourself, accepting change and keeping things in perspective.

Calm your mind and body. Relaxation methods, such as meditation, are useful ways to bring your emotions into balance. Meditation is a form of guided thought. It can take many forms. For example, you may do it by exercising, stretching or breathing deeply. Ask your family doctor for advice about relaxation methods.

Take care of yourself. To have good emotional health, it’s important to take care of your body by having a regular routine for eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep and exercising to relieve pent-up tension. Avoid overeating and don’t abuse drugs or alcohol. Using drugs or alcohol just causes other problems, such as family and health problems.