The Power of Apology!

Apology changed my life. I believe it can change yours as well. Whether you have a difficult time apologizing to others when you have wronged them, difficulty receiving or accepting the apologies others have given you, or difficulty asking for the apologies that you feel are owed you, The Power of Apology will help you understand the obstacles that stand in your way and will offer you strategies to help work past them. It will also help you if you tend to overapologize or if you apologize automatically or too often, even if you haven't done anything wrong. Whether by force of habit, as a way to avoid conflicts, or as a symptom of low self-esteem, overapologizing can be just as troublesome as not apologizing often enough. It can affect how others perceive you, your image of yourself, and your status in a relationship or in your career. 

The Power of Apology:- 

 is about bringing families and friends back together when they have been estranged, as well as bringing couples and families closer together on a daily basis. It is about teaching our children to take responsibility for their actions and to have empathy and compassion for others. Ultimately, it is about saving your soul and the souls of those you love. 

Apology has the power to heal individuals, couples, and families. Almost like magic, apology can mendour relationships, soothe our wounds and hurt pride, and heal our broken heart.

When we apologize to someone we have hurt, disappointed, neglected, or betrayed, we give them a wonderful gift that is far more healing than almost anything else we can give. By apologizing we let the other person know that we regret having hurt him or her. Just as important, we let this person know we respect him and we care about his feelings. It becomes one of the most effective tools for mending a relationship.

    Apology is not just something we do to be polite. It is an important socialritual, a way of showing respect and empathy for the wronged person. It is also a way of acknowledging an act that can't go unnoticed without compromising the relationship. Apology has the ability to disarm the anger of others, to prevent further misunderstandings, and to bridge the distances between people.

    But apology has more than the power to soothe wounds or mend relationships. In some instances, it even has the ability to rehabilitate an individual, resolve conflicts, and restore social harmony. While an apology cannot truly undo harmful effects of past actions, paradoxically, if done sincerely and effectively, this is in fact what apology manages to do. When an apology is received as the gift that it is and reciprocated by the gift of forgiveness, it is nothing short of a miracle.

    Apology is also an important factor in creating and maintaining healthy relationships. When we apologize to those we've hurt, slighted, disappointed, betrayed, or angered, the caring and respect we convey through our apology fosters love and trust.

    When someone does something that hurts our feelings but does not apologize for it, we become resentful of that person. This resentment can take the form of our distancing ourselves from her, expressing our anger in numerous direct or indirect ways, or feeling less motivated to be considerate or caring toward her.

    When your own behavior is offensive, inconsiderate, or hurtful, the recipient of your behavior grows wary of you. Whether he realizes it consciously, he feels he must be on guard. He no longer feels as relaxed around you and may even feel that he can no longer trust you. If an apology is not forthcoming, this wariness and distrust will grow. It's one thing to hurt another person, but it's another thing entirely to either not be aware that you have hurt him or to not care. If this occurs at the beginning of a relationship, it may influence whether the relationship continues. If the relationship is already an established one, it may add to a growing sense of alienation and resentment.

Apologizing to another person is one of the healthiest, most positive actions we can ever takefor ourselves, the other person, and the relationship. Apology is crucial to

our mental and physical health and well-being. Research shows that receiving an apology has an obvious and positive effect on the body.

 The act of apology is not only beneficial to the person receiving it but to the one giving it as well. The debilitating effects of the remorse and shame we can feel when we've hurt another person can eat away at us until we become emotionally and physically ill. By apologizing and taking responsibility for our actions, we help rid ourselves of esteem-robbing shame and guilt.

How to Create a Work Plan!

Organization is the key to success in any project. A work plan can help you to stay organized, meet deadlines and complete all the steps involved in your project. It forces you to plan out every detail. You can create a work plan for your whole team or a personal work plan for your own project. Ideally, you work plan should last about six to 12 months, though you can easily make adjustment.

Write down the goal of your plan. This should be the ultimate outcome--what you want to accomplish.

Set a goal date for your plan.

1.Break it down into smaller steps:-  

These are all of the tasks that you need to do in order to complete the project.

2.Arrange the tasks in the proper order:- 

There are often things that you must do before you can attempt other tasks.

3.Break your tasks down further:-  

If any of your main tasks have smaller tasks that you need to accomplish, write those down too.

Work backwards from your goal date to set dates for each of your tasks. For example, the final task before completing your goal should happen a day or two before your goal date; the task before that may happen a 4.week before the goal date:-

Schedule each task into your daily and weekly plan. This ensures that you do all of your tasks on time.

10 tips to make your New Year's resolution a success!

Many of us will make a healthy New Year's resolution – maybe to lose weight, quit smoking or drink less – but what's the best way to stick to it?

Psychologists have found we're more likely to succeed if we break our resolution into smaller goals that are specific, measurable and time-based.

Top 10 goal-setting tips:-

1. Make only one resolution. Your chances of success are greater when you channel energy into changing just one aspect of your behaviour.

2. Don't wait until New Year's Eve to choose your resolution. Take some time out a few days before and think about what you want to achieve.

3. Avoid previous resolutions. Deciding to revisit a past resolution sets you up for frustrationand disappointment.

4. Don't run with the crowd and go with the usual resolutions. Instead think about what you really want out of life.

5. Break your goal into a series of steps, focusing on creating sub-goals that are concrete, measurable and time-based.

6. Tell your friends and family about your goals. You're more likely to get support and want to avoid failure.

7. To stay motivated, make a checklist of how achieving your resolution will help you.

8. Give yourself a small reward whenever you achieve a sub-goal, which will help to motivate you and give you  a sense of progress.

9. Make your plans and progress concrete by keeping a handwritten journal, completing a computer spreadsheet or covering a notice board with graphs or pictures.

10. Expect to revertto your old habits from time to time. Treat any failure as a temporary setback rather than a reason to give up altogether.

Getting started

Below are some of the most common New Year health resolutions, with links to help you get started and achieve your goal.

1:-Lose weight:-

Get practical tips to lose excess weight, including getting started, healthy food swaps, and our 12-week weight loss plan.

2:-Quit smoking:-

We've got all you need to help you achieve your goal to stop smoking, including the free NHS Smokefree app.

3:-Get active:-

Boost your fitness with fun and practical ideas to help you get into shape, including Couch to 5K, Strength and Flex and the NHS Fitness Studio.

4:-Drink less alcohol:-

Calculate your units, get tips on cutting down, track your drinking and find out where to get help and support.

5:-Eat more fruit and veg:-

Whether you're cooking for a family or eating on the go, our tips and recipes can help you get your 5 A DAY.

Healing the Roots of Low Self-Esteem!

There is always a root to a problem, and there is a root to low self-esteem, but without identifying why or how it got there, we don’t have the tools to eradicate it for good. The struggle with developing unshakable self-esteem and confidence is like a battle with annoying ivy covering a beautiful home. Perhaps you have been used to the vines, even embracing them on occasion, but at the end of the day they are more problematic than positive, they destroy the foundation.

I used this analogy just today with a beautiful young woman who felt anything but attractive. “I am trying, and I practice the tools, it just seems like I am not getting far; I am always struggling with the way I look,” she said.

“So, its like you are cutting a small leaf or branch off, but still feel like your covered in vines. Some of the tricks and tools we have used work but they don’t seem to be fixing the root cause—the reason these toxic thoughts developed in the first place.”

Even if we have done deep work in the past, when we thought we had eradicated those lowself-esteem believes for good, the root can keep growing and the right circumstances can make it feel like the weeds are taking over your mind.

Get to the Root of Your Low Self-Esteem?

Think of the ways your self-image, confidence, and self-esteem developed. These could have been thoughts you have had since childhood, early experiences, or circumstances you encountered through life. The beliefs stemmed from somewhere.

1.Invalidating environments: an overly critical parent, lover, or friend. On the flip side, it could have been a person in your life behaved in a way that made you feel incapable of making your own decisions or trusting yourself. An overprotective parent or someone who made you feel fragile and that alone you couldn’t handle the demands of the world. 
2.Loss or trauma: feeling out of control, death of a loved one, divorce, feeling abandoned, abuse 
3.Rejection: this could have been from a loved one or a group of kids at school, not getting into a program or holding on to feelings of perceived inadequacy. 
4.Unspoken pressure: from peers, friends, even society, giving you standards you tried to live up to but always felt like you were coming up short. 
5.Mistaken beliefs: these come from our own experiences, attempting to make sense of the life circumstances and feelings we encounter. However, they hold us back and keep the roots from healing.

Common Mistaken Beliefs that Lead to Low Self-Esteem

Do any of these feel true for you? If so, get curious and look for the roots or experiences that made these come about.

1.I am powerless; I am a victim of circumstances greater than me.

2.Life is not easy; it’s always a struggle

3.If I try, I will fail.

4.I don’t matter.

5.I should always look good and put together for others to like me.

6.I need to be a certain size or weight to be worthy.

7.I need to have X, Y or Z to feel successful.

8.I can’t cope with the demands of the outside world.

9.I am not good enough and I never have been.

10.I will never be worthy of love or respect.

As hard as this may be to admit, there is power in recognizing where your mistaken beliefs come from. When you can identify, to the best of your ability, the ways the root may have formed, and the toxic thoughts of low self-esteem that keep it growing inyour mind, you have a much better grasp on how false they really are.

For my client, we examined that many of her mistaken beliefs came from her peers, the media, what she was told was “pretty” by television and the images she saw. She has supportive parents, but had highly critical grandparents who made confusing comments to her about weight, appearance, and the need to be attractive. She also had friends who placed a lot of emphasis on outer appearance.

When you are aware of how these thoughts became stuck in your mind, you are better able to attack them when they come up. The more and more you practice, it’s like treating the ivy with chemicals. Each time you spray, it may not go away, but it is slowly killing the root. Overtime, the real you, the empowered you, becomes more visible. When you catch a new bud or leaf starting to grow, you can stop it in its tracks. Knowing and understanding the root cause of your pain or mistaken beliefs is the best way to rid yourself of toxic thoughts and low self-esteem for good.