Ways to Heal a broken friendship!

1. Take a breath, step back and PAUSE. Vowing to write them off in the heat of

emotion is never a win-win. The 30 second rule (OK, sometimes it may take 30 minutes) to gather your thoughts and process the situation can save hurtful words being said in anger.

2. The thoughts in your head feeding your fear and insecurity only help to keep you stuck, confused at not at all empowered. Ruminating and playing the tapes of the circumstance over and over will certainly lead to more frustration - do something; see a movie, go for a run, do a long yoga practice - turn off your head for while to clear space for rational thinking.

3. When I am wounded, lost or feel neglected, I turn now to those men and women who love, support and nourish my soul - they remind me I’m OK; surround yourself with people who fill you up and can be a objective and grounding.

4. Big egos and big voices can be impressionable, but the one with the strongest character will come away the better person. The issue may be too deep to just glaze over, but if you act with graciousness, humility and objectivity, you can remain pleasant and generous no matter the outcome.

5. If for whatever reason after much dialogue your friend is still not moving past the incident, embrace where they are with the situation, let them know you accept this, will adjust and adapt, and that they are valuable to you on whatever terms. Often hurt can take others longer to heal - respect that and be with them at any level.

6. As trying as it can be, when you choose authentic, truthful and unconditional love for the other person and bring your heart to the situation, this hard time will strengthen you beyond anything you could imagine. Regardless of the weight you bear, come to the relationship with only wanting clear, clean communication.

7. Communal negativity is dangerous and will suck you into a empty hole of doubt and insecurity; if you share the situation with someone else and they opt to speak unkindly of your friend, you have just become a conduit to fear - stop the negative interaction and choose to keep the matter to yourself.

8. As the popular character from Seinfeld, George Costanza would say “Do the opposite.” Release your wounded feelings and go out into the world and speak graciously and kindly about your friend. Each moment you start to replay the those ego tapes in your head, call, email or text someone something really positive about this friend - you will feel lifted immediately for doing so.

9. This one is short and sweet; apologize with sincerity, ask for their forgiveness and accept the response, Respect the decision, do not regret.

10. Own your participation in this mishap; acknowledge whatever part you may have played (yes, even when we are the ones that have been hurt or wronged, we brought something to the situation that led us to the matter) and openly, without judgement speak to that place in your friends heart where they intrinsically love you and your words will be received authentically and with clarity.

My dear friend and I have had many a challenging situation, cross words and emotions flying due to impatience, insecurity. Whatever it may be at that time in our long relationship, I can tell you that I would do anything for her and I know her for me and that is worth holding onto, and worth any amount of lessons I might learn in my own growing as HER friend. Be engaged and proactive in resolving broken relationships, strive to have respect and maturity of heart to come to the situation realistically and with the intent to heal and bloom that friendship once again.

Happy life healing Mind & Body!

Establishing a healthy dialogue between our thoughts and our molecules helps us shift from imbalance to balance. And when we’re in an optimal state of dynamic balance, we naturally tend to listen to our body with love and reverence and make choices that support balance, happiness, and wellbeing.

1.Take time each day to quiet your mind and meditate.
Meditation is one of the most powerful tools for restoring balance to our mind and body. In meditation, you experience a state of restful awareness in which your body is resting deeply while your mind is awake though quiet. In the silence of awareness, the mind lets go of old patterns of thinking and feeling and learns to heal itself.

Meditation brings us home to the peace of present moment awareness and gives us an experience of profound relaxation that dissolves fatigue and long-standing stresses. 

2.Each day eat a healthy diet that includes the six Ayurvedic tastes and a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables.
Next to breathing, eating is our most vital bodily function. To create a healthy body and mind, our food must be nourishing. Ideal nutrition comes from consuming a variety of foods that are appropriately prepared and eaten with awareness.
A simple way to make sure that you are getting a balanced diet is to include the six tastes (sweet, salty, sour, pungent, bitter, and astringent) in each meal.The pungent, bitter, and astringent tastes, on the other hand, are anti-inflammatory and increase metabolism. These tastes are found in food such as radishes, ginger, mustard, peppers, spinach, mushrooms, tea, lentils lettuce, etc.

3.Move your body: Engage in daily exercise.
Regular exercise offers incredible benefits for your body and mind. The powerful effect of exercise on many of the biomarkers of aging, including muscle mass, strength, aerobic capacity, bone density, and cholesterol.
tasks.Exercise can reverse the detrimental effects of stress and lift depression.
A complete fitness program includes exercises to develop flexibility, cardiovascular conditioning, and strength training. Find an aerobic activity that you enjoy and will be able to three to four times each week for twenty to thirty minutes. After your body is warmed up, spend five to ten minutes stretching. Be sure to include strength training in your program to systematically exercise the major muscle groups of your body. The key is to start off slowly, find physical activities you like, and do them regularly. You will be surprised how quickly you increase your endurance and enthusiasm for moving and breathing.

4.Take time for restful sleep.
Restful sleep is essential key to having health and vital energy. When you're well-rested, you can approach stressful situations more calmly, yet sleep is so often neglected or underemphasized. There is even a tendency for people to boast about how little sleep they can get by on. In reality, over time, inadequate sleep disrupts the body’s innate balance, weakens our immune system, contributes to weight gain and depression, and speeds up the aging process.
Human beings generally need between six and eight hours of restful sleep each night.

5.Release emotional toxins.
Many of us harbor emotional toxicity in the form of unprocessed anger, hurt or disappointment. This unprocessed residue from the past contributes to toxicity in our body and needs to be eliminated. You can begin by asking yourself, “What am I holding onto from the past that is no longer serving me in the present?”
Once you have identified what you want to release, spend some time journaling about how your life will be different when you change. Then you can do a specific releasing ritual that declares to yourself and to the world that you are letting go of whatever it is you’ve been holding on to

6.Cultivate loving relationships.
Research shows that a good social support network has numerous physical and mental health benefits. It can keep you from feeling lonely, isolated or inadequate and if you feel good about yourself, you can deal with stress better. Friends and loved ones can be a good source of advice and suggest new ways of handling problems. But they can also be an excellent distraction from what's bothering you. If your network of friends is small, think about volunteering, joining an outdoor activities group or trying an online meet-up group to make new friends.

7.Enjoy a good belly-laugh at least once a day.
From the scientific perspective, laughter is an elegant mind-body phenomenon that reduces the production of stress hormones and boosts the immune system.

Spending Time Alone Healing!

In today's constantly connected world, finding solitude has become a lost art. In fact, Western culture tends to equate a desire for solitude with people who are lonely, sad, or have antisocial tendencies. But seeking solitude can actually be quite healthy. In fact, there are many physical and psychological benefits to spending timealone. 
Benefits of Seeking Solitude:-

1. Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind:-  
Constantly being "on" doesn't give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It's an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.

2. Solitude helps to improve concentration and increase productivity:-
When you remove as many distractions and interruptions as you can from your day, you are better able to concentrate, which will help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time.

3. Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice:-
When you're a part of a group, you're more likely to go along with what the group is doing or thinking, which isn't always the actions you would take or the decisions you would make if you were on your own.

4. Solitude provides time for you to think deeply:-
Day to day responsibilities and commitments can make your to-do list seem as if it has no end. This constant motion prevents you from engaging in deep thought, which inhibits creativity and lessens productivity.

5. Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively:-
 It's hard to think of effective solutions to problems when you're distracted by incoming information, regardless of whether that information is electronic or human. 

6. Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others:-  
By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you're more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you've spent some time alone.

Despite knowing these benefits, it can be a challenge to find time alone in a world that seems to never sleep. Here are a few ideas to help you find more time to spend with yourself.

1:-Disconnect:-
Set aside some time each day to unplug from all the ways you connect with others. Turn off your cell phone, Turn off your Internet. Turn off your TV. If you use your computer to create, such as writing, then write without all the bells, dings, and beeps that come along with being connected to the Internet. You'll be amazed at how much more you can get done when you're not distracted.

2:-Get Up or Get In Early:- 
 Wake up a half hour or an hour earlier than everyone else in your house and use that time to create, produce, problem solve, meditate, or whatever makes you happy. This strategy also works if you can get to work before everyone else arrives and the phones begin to ring.

3:-Close Your Door:- 
 It's simple, but can be very effective. A client who owns a community-based magazine puts a sign on her door when she doesn't wants alone time. The sign reads "I'm editing or writing. If the police are here, the office is on fire, or stops by, you can interrupt me. If not, please hold all questions until my door opens." She said that she decided to put up the sign after she realized that her presence in the office was a stimulus for questions. "Whenever I was in the office," she said, "it seemed like there was one question after the next. I was constantly getting interrupted, and it was hard to get my work done. Then I noticed that on the days I was working on a story outside the office, my phone hardly ever rang, even if I was out the whole day. Apparently, whatever questions came up somehow got handled without me. It made me realize that just by being in the office I was a magnet for questions. So I put up the sign and it works like a charm."

4:-Use Your Lunch Time:- 
 Don't spend your lunch time working at your desk. Don't spend it running errands. And if you regularly go out to lunch, don't think that it always has to be with others. Once a week or even just a couple of times a month, commit to spending lunch with yourself. Walk. Sit in the sun outside. Go to a park and eat. Enjoy the time you have alone.

Schedule solitude:- 
 Literally. Mark off time in your day planner or calendar for spending time with yourself. If you can make time for all the little extras you fit into your day, like stopping at Starbucks or picking up something at the mall, you can schedule time in your calendar for solitude. It doesn't have to be long. Any time that you can spend alone with yourself to reboot, meditate, focus, relax, create, produce, and/or think deeply is better than no time.

In my next post, Why You Shouldn't Feel Guilty about Stealing a Little Time for Yourself, I talk about ways to negotiate alone time with friends and family and how to avoid feeling guilty about it. And if you have effective strategies you use to steal a little time for yourself,

Reduce Holidays Stress Simple Tips!

1. Change Your Mindset:- 
Of course, the holidays are a special time of year meant to celebrate friends and family, but we're not talking about a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence here. Christmas may come but once a year, but it comes every single year without fail. If you're too busy to participate in every party or family tradition this year, don't worry. There's always next year! This same kind of thinking can also help you make healthierdecisions when it comes to holiday eating. Yes, your aunt's gingerbread cookies are delicious, but you can enjoy a couple every year instead of feeling like you have to eat the whole tin all at once. Sweet talk her into giving you the recipe, and, even if you never get around the baking them, you'll know that you can have your favorite treat anytime you want.

2. Practice the Power of No:-
The word no is extremely powerful and liberating. It's tempting to say yes to every invitation and every opportunity to volunteer during the holidays. But you'll enjoy the parties and other events more if you pick and choose the ones that are closest to your heart. There's no need to lie or to explain why you can't participate. Simply say, "I'm sorry. I already have plans for that time." Whether your plan is to make time for exercise or simply to get some needed rest, don't feel obligated to take on more than you can. This can be quite challenging, though. Force yourself to practice saying no in small ways. For example, try politely refusing a cookie from a well-meaning coworker.

3. Simplify Your Celebration:-
Holiday traditions are wonderful and help create lasting family memories, but there's no reason why you can't choose to create new traditions that better fit your current lifestyle. Do you really need to cook a meal for your entire extended family? Instead, could you roast the turkey or make another main course and ask everyone else to bring a side dish or dessert? Do you really need to buymultiple gifts for everyone? Instead, could the adults in the family draw names to create a smaller gift exchange and save other gift giving for children? 

4. Focus on Others:- 

Instead of getting wrapped up in gift giving, baking and other holiday obligations, find a way to give back to your community this year. You might choose to volunteer at a toy drive for underprivileged children or help out at a local food bank. Instead of fightingcrowds at the mall, you could be doing good for others and for yourself. There are many benefits to giving back for your own health and well-being.

5. Choose a Charity Gift.:-
Another great way to avoid the mall or hours of online shopping is to give charity gift cards to friends and family. You can buy cards and certificates from sites like Tis Best, Just Give and Network for Good that allow the recipient to donate the money to the non-profit of their choice. That way you and your family can feel good about supporting causes that are important toeach one of you.

6. Don't Skip Your Regular Workouts:-
It's easy to find extra time in your schedule by cutting back on gym visits or afternoon walks, but because exercise is such an effective form of stress relief, all you'll be buying yourself is exhaustion and added worry. By the same token, don't try to beat holiday eating by ramping up your workouts to unrealistic levels. Instead, enjoy holiday treats in moderation and focus on sustainable fitness goals. If you want to add some extra calorie burn to your regular cardio (in a short amount of time), try some high-intensityinterval training.

7. Boost Your Immune System:-
There's nothing more stressful during the holidays than coming down with a cold or the flu. To protect yourself during the winter months, make sure you're getting ample fruit and vegetables in your diet, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep and washing your hands regularly. And get a flu shot to protect yourself from the most common strains of the flu virus.

8. Be Flexible:-
Instead of trying to pack multiple family celebrations into a single day or weekend, create your own schedule for festive gatherings when it's more convenient for everyone. For example, if you celebrate Thanksgiving with one side of your family, invite the other side over a few days later to celebrate leftovers day. Everyone can bring leftovers or a new dish to share. You can eat up all the extra food while it's still good and spend time with the people you love in a less formal setting than a sit-down dinner.

9. Take a Day Off:-
Rather than trying to fit all your holiday errands in on the weekend, use one of the vacation days you were saving for the holidays for some stress-free mid-week shopping. The mall will be less crowded and you'll be able to zip through all the tasks on your list. And you'll also get more done on that day you're alone in the office without any interruptions from coworkers. Not being greeted by an overflowing email inbox on January 2 will be a huge stress reliever, too.

10. Get Out of Town:-
 Need a fool-proof excuse for skipping out on holiday obligations? Book a vacation. It can be just you and your significant other, or you can bring your immediate family along. Use the money you would have spent on gifts to fund your trip and accumulate memories instead of stuff. Who knows, maybe winter travel is a new family tradition that you can pass on to the next generation--the gift of a totally stress-freeholiday season!

11. Take a Deep Breath:- 
 If you find yourself feeling too stressed out and overwhelmed to even consider any of the suggestions above, pause for five minutes and take a few cleansing breaths. Then get a piece of paper and write down all the tasks that are swirling around in your head and driving your crazy. Consult a calendar and allot specific time periods to spend on each item on your list. Once you have a plan in place, you can focus on checking off tasks instead of worrying about how to juggle everything. (Discover 10 simple ways to de-stress in five minutes or less.)

Healthy Life Style!

Here are healthy lifestyle tips you can incorporate into your daily life to promote your health and well-being. Some are tips that you should implement on a daily basis and others are minor changes you can make to your life to foster healthy living.

1:-Daily exercise is one of the most important healthy lifestyle tips. Exercise on a daily basis for at least 30 minutes per day. Brisk walk, aerobics, or just any kind of bodily movement can do wonders for your health.

2:-You should sleep 6 to 8 hours per day. This will help your body to replenish itself and gives your body time to rebuild its cells. Lack of sleep make you feel tired and affect your eating habits. Adequate sleep is essential for your overall health and well-being.

3:-Eat a well-balanced diet. Increase your intake of fruits and vegetables. Avoid foods that are processed and reduce your intake of foods that are high in fat, sodium and sugar.

4:-Maintaining a healthy weight will help you look better and reduce your risk of heart disease and diabetes.

5:-Have a positive outlook. People who are positive tend to have better health and success in life then those who are negative thinkers.

6:-Maintain a balanced lifestyle. There should be a balance between your work time and your leisure time. Remind yourself, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.”

7:-Stop smoking. It is harmful to your health. It can cause heart disease, lungs cancer, and premature aging.

8:-Meditation can help reduce stress, because it helps quiet your mind. Even if you just meditate 15 minutes per day, the result will amaze you.

9:-Reduce your intake of alcohol.

10:-Surround yourself with friends and family members who are supportive. 

11:-Manage stress by doing meditation, breathing exercises, listening to music, etc. Stress, left not managed, can lead to tension and pain in your body and threaten your health and well-being.

12:-Drink 8 to 10 glasses of water daily to help you with the digestion of food, absorption of nutrients, and the elimination of toxins from your body.

13:-Take daily vitamins, mineral and herbal supplements to maintain your overall health or deal with your specific health problems.

14:-Find things to laugh about on a daily basis. Laughter releases endorphins, boost your immune system, increases blood flow and relaxes your body.

15:-Spending 5 to 10 minutes per day to practice deep breathing can improve your overall health. Deep breathing reduces stress, relaxes your muscles, improve your oxygen intake and delivery to all your organs and stimulate your lymphatic system.

16:-Avoid your exposure to toxins like pesticides, molds, fungus and heavy metals like lead, mercury, aluminum, etc.

17:-Eat complex carbohydrates and avoid simple carbohydrates like white bread, sugar, white rice, etc.

18:-Eat organically grown fruits and vegetables, if possible, to avoid getting exposed to pesticides.

19:-Life is too short so you should follow your bliss. People who are happy and have a fulfilled life tend to be healthier and live longer.

20:-Avoid people who talk about illnesses.

21:-Get outside and spend your time in the open air daily, if possible. Exposing yourself to fresh air and sunshine on a daily basis is beneficial to your health.

22:-Be appreciative of your life, your health and whatever you have. Gratitude is good for your soul as well as your health.

23:-Choose happiness and health. Make it your dominant intention to focus on things that make your life healthy and happy.

24:-See yourself healthy and happy in your mind’s eyes.

25:-Forgive yourself and others. Bearing grudges is bad for your health and well-being.

26:-Remind yourself that it is natural for you to be healthy. Health is your natural state, not sickness.

27:-Have a raw food diet day, a day where eat only unprocessed and uncooked foods, once or twice a month. This way you give your body a break from all the food additives and preservatives. Make sure that you consume only organic foods.

28:-Try alternative medicine like acupuncture, aromatherapy, reflexology, etc.

29:-Practice yoga. It’s good for both your body and mind.

30:-Fasting once in a while is a good way to detox your body and gives your digestive system some time off.

31:-Do not worry. Worry will not help you solve your problem and it is not good for your health. Worry is the main causes of many physical ailments that send people to hospitals. Remember that most of the things that you worry about will probably never happen anyway.

32:-Expect to be healthy and do not expect to be sick.

33:-Accept yourself, your capability and your shortcomings.

Benefits of Smiling and Laughing!

1. Neurotransmitters called endorphins are released when you smile.

These are triggered by the movements of the muscles in your face, which is interpreted by your brain, which in turn releases these chemicals. Endorphins are responsible for making us feel happy, and they also help lower stress levels. Faking a smile or laugh works as well as the real thing—the brain doesn’t differentiate between real or fake as it interprets the positioning of the facial muscles in the same way. This is known as the facial feedback hypothesis. The more we stimulate our brain to release this chemical the more often we feel happier and relaxed.

2. Endorphins make us feel happier and less stressed.

They also act as the body’s natural pain killers. For sufferers of chronic pain, laughing and smiling can be very effective in pain management, as can laughing off the pain when you bump an elbow or fall over.

3. While the release of endorphins is increased, the stress hormone cortisol is reduced.

Cortisol is more active when we feel stressed or anxious and contributes to the unpleasant feelings we experience, and by lowering it we can reduce these negative feelings.

4. Laughing expands the lungs, stretches the muscles in the body and stimulates homeostasis.

This exercises the body, replenishing the cells from a lungful of oxygen and gaining all the benefits of exercising the body.

5. A good laugh can be an effective way to release emotions.

A good laugh can help you release emotions, especially those emotions that you might bottle up inside. Everything looks that little bit better after a good laugh and life can be seen from a more positive perspective. Smiling and laughing have positive socialimplications as well.

6. Smiling is an attractive expression, which is more likely to draw people to you rather than push them away.

Smiling makes you appear more approachable. Interaction with others is easier and more enjoyable when smiles and laughs are shared, and these behaviours are contagious, making others feel better too, and make you a more appealing and attractive person to be around. This in turn will have a positive effect on your well-being.

7. A happy, positive expression will serve you well in life.

This is particularly  true for challenging situations such as job interviews: a smiling, relaxed persona indicates confidence and an ability to cope well in stressful situations. This will also be of benefit in your career, building healthy relationships with colleagues and being seen in a favourable light by your employers.

How to Smile and Laugh More Often tricks:-

There are simple ways to bring more smiling and laughing into your day:

1:-Smile and laugh regularly. As mentioned, your brain does not know the difference between a fake or real smile, and by doing so more often you will feel better, and become more likely to smile and laugh more spontaneously.

2:-Watch funny films, TV, and theater shows. This is a excellent way to inject some instant humor into your life. By avoiding negative programs and news broadcasts, you can also balance make your viewing more positive and lighthearted, with more opportunity for a chuckle or two.

3:-Spend time with friends and family that make you feel happy. Surrounding yourself with happy, fun-loving, optimistic people will bring out your happy side, and their behaviour will rub off on you as you subconsciously mimic their behavioural patterns.

4:-Find things to smile and laugh about. Once you start consciously looking at all the things that are funny and uplifting, you will be more aware of them, in tune with them, and more ready to engage in a spontaneous smile or laugh.

Happy Marrige trick!

 Psychotherapist who specializes in couples therapy, believes that relationships don’t require hard work. They do require “attention and intention.”

1:- Greet your partner lovingly in the morning:-

When you first see your spouse, instead of having a negative or even neutral interaction, greet them with a positive statement, Bush said. It could be anything from “I’m glad to wake up beside you” to “I’m so happy to be married to you,” she said. The key is to be positive and loving.

2:-Send a sweet text:-

Use modern-day technology to stay connected throughout the day by sending your spouse a playful, flirtatious or sweet text, Bush said. Write anything from “I miss you” to “I can’t wait to see you tonight,” she said.

3:-Reunite with a hug:-

Often people will reunite and it’s unconsciously thoughtless, Bush said. For instance, partners might focus more on checking the mail or criticizing, such as “Why didn’t you cook dinner?” or “Why didn’t you take out the trash?”

Instead, any time you reunite with your partner, “have an intentional hug that lasts 20 seconds.” This is actually longer than the average hug, and it’s “long enough for oxytocin, the bonding hormone, to be released.”

4:- Touch your partner at mealtime:-

When you’re eating dinner together, make it a point to touch your partner. You might touch their hand or arm, or your legs might touch, she said.

5:-Compliment your partner at the end of the day:-

Many marriages, Bush said, suffer from chronic under-appreciation. Partners don’t feel appreciated, and they, too, don’t show their appreciation, she said. The relationship becomes clouded by a “sense of lack and taking each other for granted.”

She suggested couples end the day by thanking each other for one small act they did that day. It could be anything from “Thanks for picking up the dry cleaning” to “Thanks for making dinner” to “Thanks for hanging out with my family.”

Not only does your partner feel appreciated after your compliment, but “you start to train yourself to look for the good. You focus your attention on the things they do, not just what they don’t do.”

6:-Express your needs from a place of vulnerability:-

Often people will criticize as a way of describing their needs, Bush said. So instead of a request, it comes You’re always on the computer.

Instead, try: “I’d like to spend some time with you. Could you spend some time with me?” This invites a dialogue between partners, she said.

7:- Feel each other’s breath:-

This might sound like a strange practice, but it’s a powerful way to enhance your intimacy. Put your hands on each other’s chest or belly and feel your partner’s breathing, Bush said. Synch your breath together for one minute. Some couples also look into each other’s eyes.
Some days you probably won’t feel like showing appreciation or being affectionate. You might be in a miserable mood or downright exhausted. But try it anyway.

If you do a loving behavior, you start to feel more loving,” Bush said. She likened it to feeling depressed. You don’t want to do the things that will make you feel better. And, yet, when you do the things that make you feel better, you feel better.

Also, keep in mind that time with your spouse is finite. People don’t realize that their relationship can end because of a divorce or death, Bush said. She works with many grieving spouses, who would “give anything for one more hug and kiss.